How Steve Austin made me feel old.

My hairline looks about the same, these days.

So, here it is….the day after.

The day after my birthday, that is. It was 44 years ago, yesterday, that I made my auspicious debut into the world. At a burly nine pounds and thirteen ounces, I probably would’ve bounced had I been dropped….on my bottom, instead of my head.  Not that I was dropped on my head.

Too often.

Anyway, when you’re young you never think you’ll be the ‘old guy’…until that one day, when you suddenly look in the mirror and see him. It’s then when you realize that you’re ready to shake your cane at any young whippersnapper who dares tread on your lawn. My reason for bringing this up is directly related to my birthday and the awesome gift my wife got me.  Now, my wife knows I’m a big geek. She’s pretty ‘geeky’ herself and we’ve talked about some of our favorite shows from our youth. One of hers was “The Bionic” woman and, coincidentally enough, one of mine was “The Six Million Dollar Man”.

To show that she was really paying attention, she bought me the entire series on DVD as my birthday gift. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Like I said, it was one of my favorite shows when I was young. Of course, I was chomping at the bit to dig into the series, from the beginning (which I missed since we were overseas when it debuted).  Granted, watching it now, the effects are cheesy compared to what they can do now, and some of the acting is a bit ham-fisted, but a lot of the story ideas and characterization still makes it worth seeing again.

This is all (in a roundabout way)  leading up to how the Six Million Dollar Man made me feel old.

About ten years ago, I was at work talking to some people about a Halloween party I had gone to. A couple of girls, both around 19 or 20 at the time, asked me who I went as. I told them I went as the Six Million Dollar Man.

They looked at each other.

Then they looked at me.

“Who’s that?” they both asked.

At first I thought they were joking and I started laughing. Then, I realized that they weren’t joking. They had no idea who ‘Steve Austin’ was, besides the ‘Stone Cold’ variety.

It was, at that moment, when I became officially….old. My hairline instantly receded and my gut drooped over my belt. Alright, maybe it wasn’t as instantaneous as that….but, still…

So, that’s it….I have the Bionic Man to thank for me being a curmudgeon. Besides my dwindling tolerance for hippies and the inability to know new singers and songs, being curmudgeonly isn’t half bad.

Happy Birthday to me =)